Sometimes I Forget

Hi, peeps! No, I don't mean that sometimes I forget to write. I don't think I forget; I think I tell myself I have nothing of value to say. I should stop doing that. I see the value in everything in the world except myself most of the time. That's depressing. I should knock that off.

Sometimes I forget how competitive I am. Last week, someone I don't know invited me to a Fitbit challenge. It was a get-as-many-steps-as-you-can-in-the-work-week challenge. I've been invited before, but this is the first one I joined. I also invited my husband and brother. My husband didn't join soon enough, and the challenge was full so he wasn't in it. My brother came in second with just under 70,000 steps. That's a great week, right? You know what I did? I had 99,287 steps in 5 days. I killed it.

In some ways, go me. I didn't feel like it was about winning really. It was about being true to the person I want to me--that I want other people to see me as. I can't decide today how I feel about that. I think I need to spend some time on that thought. I got in all my workouts except Friday, and I'm happy about that too. The part that isn't good is that I wore myself out. I didn't get nearly enough sleep last week, which left me so tired I couldn't function last night. Ugh. The whole point of exercise, for me, is to feel good. It's self-care.

So last night I got enough rest then went out to run. I was going to run for 30 minutes this morning, but it was too hot for me. I alternated 5-minute walks and 5-minute runs instead. It was hard because of the temperature and humidity. I like the heat for the rest of the day, but man, I do hate it when I want to run. I think I'm being a little smarter about it this summer than I have before. In other years, I've practically quit running, and I'm happy that this year I'm doing intervals instead of avoiding. I'd like to get my bike out more in the next couple weeks also. That's a good workout for me when it's really hot.

I'm rambling today. I think the moral of the story is that I need to remember what my goals are and make everything else--competition especially--second to that. I matter and have value even though sometimes I forget.

My Plan

Hi again! I'm really trying to get here more often. It's good for me so of course it's a struggle.
 That's not really true, but it's how things feel right now. I'm exhausted and not sleeping nearly enough so I suppose everything is just going to feel like a struggle until I fix that. I desperately need a new work project, and I think it's being arranged but have no idea when it might actually happen. Sigh.

Anyway, I came today to write about my plan. I listen to a lot of podcasts, and on one of them, they've been talking about something called the whole life challenge. I didn't go get all the details (because they don't allow eating, but the parts I loved from what they were saying had to do with earning points and competing. That sparked something in my brain. So I decided, actually at the start of May, to devise a system of my own to track points and earn them for doing the things that make me feel healthy and energetic. It's working great! My weight is barely moving so I'm not going to tell you it's been the magical weight loss method we all dream about, but it's got me doing things I normally have to force myself to do like lift weights and write in my journal.

I earn points for getting enough sleep (not so much the last few days), lifting weights, stretching, tracking my weight, tracking my calories, staying within my net calorie goal, etc. When I get to X number of points, I earn something I don't have to track the calories for...maybe it's a dinner, maybe it's a dessert, whatever. It's one thing I don't calculate or look up or whatever. It doesn't sound like much, but that's a reward for me. Counting can get so exhausting, and earning a non-counted thing is truly something that motivates me.

Twice during this process, I've taken 2 or 3 days off from counting calories and just let go of earning any points. I think that'll average out to about one weekend a month that I take a couple days off and let myself recharge. The first time I did it was for a holiday weekend with travel to my remote family home. (Remote like there were 49 people in my graduating class in high school, and I could probably still name them all.) The second time was around the move. Moving is just hard. The result is going to be fantastic, but it's a lot of work.

So that's my plan at the moment. I've tweaked it here and there over the last 6-ish weeks and really think I'm in a good place with it. Like I said, the scale isn't magically going down, but I feel pretty good physically. All I really need is to earn some of those sleep points so my brain can start feeling good too. :)

Happy Wednesday, peeps! Go be amazing today!